Obama Rumors, Myths and Smears

During the fall of 1987, Barack Obama appeared on the popular daytime game show Win, Lose or Draw. He reportedly won $637 thanks to his game partner Loni Anderson.

Completely false. While Senator Obama did briefly appear on the 80’s hit, he was only paid $75 and a two-week supply of Turtle Wax. In addition, while Barack has great respect for Ms. Anderson, he would of preferred the masterful artistry of Dom DeLuise.

The Social Security Information Bureau is reporting that “Barack” is on pace to become the most popular baby boy name for 2008.

While this is not an inflammatory rumor, it’s a rumor nonetheless. The most recent report shows that “Jacob” is still number one, followed by “Change” and “Believe”.

However, we did find out that “Michelle” has mysteriously fallen out of the top 100 baby girl names.

There are whispers within the Obama inner circle, that Vice Presidential Search Committee Member Caroline Kennedy herself is seriously being considered as a potential running mate.

While the thought of having an Obama – Kennedy ticket is exciting, this is just not true. Even though Caroline has worked in Washington for a number of years, she does not have any real public office experience. However, Senator Obama did not entirely rule out the notion, saying, “If I can win the Presidency as a first-term Senator, Caroline can certainly be Vice President.”

In other news, a local Starbucks barista has officially declared himself available for Secretary of State.